Thursday, April 13, 2006

Combatting Holt Hysteria With Humor

Supporters of the other candidates were hyperventalating about how terrible it would be if Senator Jim Holt won the Republican nomination for Lt. Governor on another blog. The Holt supporters responded with humor and it really got funny.

I am going to cut and paste some of their comments here. Click "Thursday" below and scroll down for the dialog.

23 Comments:

Blogger Mark Moore (Moderator) said...

First an example of the kind of comments that demonstrate the irrational fears of the Holt bashers....

********************************
Anonymous said...

Holt wins = Asa losing (and every constitutional office going to Democrats!)

Now THAT'S reality. Go find another flavor of kool-aid. I hear Reagan has a nice, smooth falvor.
**************************

So the Holt supporters start in with...
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10:24 AM
Anonymous said...

...and the sky will fall, and all fresh water sources will dry up, and tornadoes will increase in number and magnitude.
*******************************

10:29 AM
Anonymous said...

.....the GOP will never win another JP race, in the whole south! IN fact, the party itself will instantaneouly dissolve nationwide if Jim Holt so much as gets into a runoff with our establishment guy!
**********************************

10:36 AM
Anonymous said...

If Jim Holt wins this primary the earth will spiral into the Sun. We are all doomed!
************************************

10:37 AM
Anonymous said...

Scientists have long wondered if the "Big Bang" will reverse, causing the universe- all of space and all of time- to collapse on itself.

We now know the one thing that will definetly cause this event- Jim Holt winning the Lt. Governor's primary!
********************************

10:39 AM
Anonymous said...

Every night the Boogie Man Checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Every nigh Chuck Norris checks his closet for Jim Holt.
***********************************

10:40 AM
Anonymous said...

Chuck Norris once tried his famous roundhouse kick on Jim Holt. Chuck broke his foot on Jim's poll numbers and Jim just laughed and went off and fathered another child.
***********************************

8:36 PM, April 13, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Once night Jim Holt went home after a long day of tearing the heads off of ACLU lawyers. As he walked in he spotted an intruder. Without dropping his bag of ACLU lawyer-spines, Holt executed a roundhouse kick into the face of the intruder.

The intruder starts cringing and crying and begging for his life. Holt turns the light on and it turns out that it was Chuck Norris. Chuck just stopped by to volunteer to be a precinct coordinator.

8:46 PM, April 13, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard that one. Is it true he didn't even wrinkle his suit?

8:53 PM, April 13, 2006  
Blogger Jim's Sis-in-law said...

Hey Mark, I got a "kick" out of those too. Thanks

9:15 PM, April 13, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anyone care to comment on the Lite Gov debate in Fort Smith tonight?

9:36 PM, April 13, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

8:53, he actually did wrinkle his suit that day, but he had Hulk Hogan press it for him just before his run in with Chuck that night.

Seems old Hulk still owes him quite a few favors after he had foolishly challenged Jim to a five round wrestling match and lost a wager he couldn't pay.

9:38 PM, April 13, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So Mark, nice job cutting and pasting. Question: How did you know all those anonymous posts were for Holt? They could have been making fun of all this situation (i.e. the whole Lite Guv race). Did you write them all?

5:56 AM, April 14, 2006  
Blogger Mark Moore (Moderator) said...

I can't take credit for all of them, but I was a contributor.

6:22 AM, April 14, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is what my childern do verbably very often. Let's talk real issues and not waste time on this junk.

Doug Matayo Can win in a general election so let's support him.

PS: May everyone who sees this have a wonderful Easter Celebration and remember that all this will be gone soon, when we stand before the Lord of the Heaven and Earth.

God Bless your family.

7:54 AM, April 14, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to honestly think that besides the Chuck Norris refrences some of those other posts were not actually in jest.

If I had to make a comparison Chuck Norris would be Holt, Bruce Lee would be Banks, and Ronald Reagan, George Washington, and Batman would be Matayo.

So the lesson is if you want to win vote for Batman.

8:54 AM, April 14, 2006  
Blogger Mark Moore (Moderator) said...

Comment on the debate? Chuck Norris tried to debate Jim Holt- once.

9:46 AM, April 14, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard that in fact Jim has decided he can fix all the states problems without raising taxs , hes currently laying the ground work, see the states going into the used political sign bussis Chunk norris is currently out collecting only Mayeto signs , because on the black market they bring as much as a Dole 76 or even a Sore loserman 2000

1:25 PM, April 14, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

People are complaining that Jim Holt was still eating his salad when he was whupping up on the other two guys in that Fort Smith Debate. Winning a debate while still eating a salad. That was nothing! You should have seen him beat Chuck Norris in a kickboxing match while eating an ice cream cone!

8:55 AM, April 15, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

An advocate for giving illegal aliens welfare benefits was giving Jim Holt a hard time. The guy said, "For once in my life I'd like to see you show some heart, even if only for one second."

So Jim Holt tore the guy's heart out and showed it to him before he died.

8:58 AM, April 15, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not only did Jim Holt vote for biofuels, but he and Chuck Norris have collected enough ACLU-lawyer spines to keep the plant producing for a year!

9:00 AM, April 15, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The first lunar eclipse took place after Jim Holt challenged the sun to a debate. Jim Holt always wins.

3:39 PM, April 17, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you know that Jim Holt can divide by zero?

3:40 PM, April 17, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jim Holt once tobogganed down Mount Everest without supplemental oxygen, and sprinted back to the top when he realized he had lost his mittens.

Jim Holt is the only man in existence who can not only withstand the impact of a paradox, but beat the living crap out of it until it is solved.

/thousands more where those came from...

12:34 PM, April 18, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jim Holt counted to infinity. Twice.

6:35 PM, April 18, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There are no illegal aliens, only people who Jim Holt has not got around to deporting yet.

6:35 PM, April 18, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is not well known, but when Jim Holt was at the National Security Agency he once teamed up with Agent Jack Bauer to take out a terrorist training camp.

Holt went in and started ripping out the spines of terrorists. Bauer saw Holt in action and fainted.

10:08 PM, April 19, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Superman wears Jim Holt Pajamas

5:58 AM, April 20, 2006  
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10:48 PM, February 05, 2007  

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